Sensitivity: Bullying¶

Shut Up and Stop Whining or: Learn to Embrace Differences Without Being a Little Bitch About It¶

We as a nation need to clear the air. This is not a random call for unity or some other mystical construction designed to make us all feel warm and fuzzy. Instead I propose we dig into what sensitivity really is and who is actually sensitive. Sensitivity, or perhaps more accurately “oversensitivity” is a vague term full of subjectivity. It will not be possible to define it to the satisfaction of everyone involved so I’m going to assume for the purposes of this article that the general meaning is reasonably self-evident.

There is a strong perception, particularly among certain demographics, that the youth of today are too sensitive. This belief is buttressed by observations and perceptions of bullying, political correctness, and the modern incarnation of a civil rights movement.

Bullying is a topic that seems superficially simple. One one hand you have people noting that it seems to be an issue that is increasing in significance. Media coverage of high profile bullying related suicides is a factor in driving parental concern and/or fear. On the other side of the debate is the idea that people are simply somehow weaker now than in the past. Bullying, they accurately point out, has been a common denominator of most childhoods. There are now anti-bullying movements; vocal groups of people of all ages speaking out against bullying. Conversely another group emerges, concerned that the fear of bullying prevents people from learning to handle themselves. They argue that conflict and adversity are an important part of adulthood and by overprotecting children they harm their ability to be successful in a challenging world.

We can summarize the two groups as:

Protect our children!
Stop making our children wusses!

So who is right? To some degree both are correct. A larger problem is that both sides think the other is WRONG. The rabid tendency to pick sides blinds all sides and stunts reasonable progress on issues. The game becomes one of proving one side right and one side wrong because everyone involved lacks the presence of mind to actually look at the issue from any perspective other than their initial knee-jerk reactions.

Who is being sensitive? This question falls squarely on the shoulders of the “Stop making our children wusses!” group. That isn’t to say that there isn’t oversensitivity in the other crowd of course, but I had to pick on someone because I’m a bully, safely hiding behind a computer terminal. The reality is that I can’t truly say one group is more or less correct because the reality is that it’s not possible to know. Strong feelings abound, held aloft by emotional responses and anecdotes, but it’s difficult to take this into a purely empirical place, so what else do we have to rely on?

I can say this though. Anyone who thinks modern bullying isn’t different is laughably naive. Culture is constantly changing, and the way people communicate is dramatically different. Some things are difficult to know without personal experience. Technology has changed how much access people have to one another. It’s also increased the ability to behave anonymously. While there are tremendous advantages to the modern technological era, there may also be some negative side effects. Bullying doesn’t have to stop when you leave school. It can follow a person anywhere at all hours of the day. Social dynamics have shifted because of the ease of continual communication. It’s tricky because people tend to relate what they see to their own experience. If you grew up in an era before everyone had a smart-phone in their pocket though, you simply lack the experience to really know what that group is going through so any attempt to cram your experiences into theirs is doomed to inaccuracy and bias. Don’t be so arrogant as to assume that your experience translates.